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This is my first “new year” as a mom. And as a new mom balancing full-time work, a podcast, a book in progress, and, of course, time with my family, routines have become essential. Not as a way to squeeze more productivity out of my day, but as a way to stay grounded within it.

Lately, I’ve felt a huge shift away from life “hacks” and constant optimization — I’m less interested in tracking metrics or outsourcing my intuition to apps and algorithms — and I’ve found myself drawn to rhythms that feel slower, human, and deeply natural to how I feel. This often looks like writing my to-do list on paper (I’ve tried every app on the planet, and I simply become more overwhelmed than organized when using tech for this). It also looks like beginning the morning with a flow that feels intentional and calm (for me and also my daughter) rather than rushed.

The hyper-optimized morning with data and devices works beautifully for some people. It’s just not how I want to start my day. Right now, I’m craving mornings that feel lived-in and cozy. Mornings that allow flexibility while also setting me up for a gratifying (and productive) day.

In a world that begs us to do more, be more, and have more, here is how I’m creating a morning routine that makes me excited to get out of bed.

Sunlight filters through curtains onto a round table with a vase of flowers, two tall candles, and a woven chair by a glass door overlooking greenery.

Start with an evening routine

This is so straightforward, and yet it is impossibly hard for me. I love evenings. They’re when I feel most like myself — relaxed, social, creative. If I could design the perfect night, it would always include an inspired dinner (with dessert), a bottle of wine, the coziest loungewear I own, and a great movie or show curled up next to my husband. Early bedtimes have never been my instinct, and since becoming a mom, I’ve often struggled with revenge bedtime procrastination.

To help myself get into a better groove and set myself up for the following day, I’ve learned to live by the phrase “your future self will thank you.” And she does. When I eat dinner at a reasonable hour and swap wine for water and crawl into bed by 10, my morning self is deeply grateful.

So this is the rhythm I aim for most days. I follow it about 80% of the time, because the 80/20 rule feels like the only sustainable way to live. It leaves room for indulgence and spontaneity. And, of course, having a baby helps since her bedtime routine begins at six and signals wind-down time for the rest of us.

Here are a few of my favorite evening routines that make me feel better the next morning:

  • Spending 15 minutes doing an evening “turn down” of the house – e.g., put the dishes away, get the coffee ready, set my daughter’s formula out, refill our water filter.
  • Taking a hot shower, spending a few extra minutes on skincare, and moisturizing.
  • Getting into bed a few minutes early so I can read or jot down a few notes from the day (something I’ve started doing more regularly to document my daughter’s life).
  • Using a humidifier, pillow spray, or anything that feels indulgent/relaxing.

Avoid tech at the beginning (and end) of the day

This is so hard for me, as my instinct every morning is to reach for my phone and check texts, social, and email. It’s a terrible habit that never (read: never) pays off because I end up starting the day reactive and pulled into other people’s needs before I’ve had a moment to check in with myself. The same goes for checking my phone right before bed.

While some people swear by sleeping with their phone outside the bedroom, it’s not realistic for me since my husband is a firefighter and works nights. I like keeping my phone nearby in case of emergencies, so my solution has been to set it to “do not disturb” and maintain an “allowed callers” list for emergency contacts (here’s how to create one).

That said, one habit I’ve loved in this new season of life is falling asleep with a show on my laptop. Do what makes you feel rested and relaxed. If watching a few funny reels before bed is what brings you joy at the end of the day, by all means.

Embrace your morning for what it is

A woman holding a baby.

There’s no shortage of influencer videos showing us what a “good” morning looks like: sunlight first thing, a glass of lemon water, supplements and protein, a dip in the cold plunge. And while I’m not knocking on any of these things (they can be life-changing!), they don’t work for me in this season of life.

Do you want to know how I start my mornings? I start my morning by changing a diaper, making a bottle, and feeding my daughter on the couch while balancing a cup of coffee. Then, I put her on her play mat and get ready for the day as quickly as possible. And I love this morning routine. I had dreamed of this morning routine for so long. While it can be hectic and requires my full attention first thing, it’s where I’m at right now. And so I’m leaning into it.

Every season of life asks for something different, and our mornings reflect that. What’s worked best for me is letting go of the idea that there’s a single “right” way to start the day, and instead embracing the natural flow of the season I’m in. Rather than forcing habits that don’t fit, I focus on what feels supportive and realistic — doing what feels good and right, right now.

Pay attention to the small rituals you already have

When I stopped thinking about optimizing my morning, I realized I already have so many rituals that are dear to me. Things like putting on my slippers, grinding the coffee beans, and opening my daughter’s curtains to let the sunlight catch on her disco-ball mobile. These tiny rituals are simple to create, too. Here are a few I’ve been thinking of incorporating this year that may spark ideas for you:

  • Lighting a candle in the morning and saying a 30-second prayer for the day.
  • Sitting down at the kitchen table to drink a cup of coffee with my husband before we both jump into the day (even for two minutes).
  • Wearing eye masks (😌).
  • Creating a fun song or ritual to help my daughter pick out her outfit.
  • Listening to music while getting ready for the day.
  • Writing a new sticky note each morning for the fridge or entryway mirror with an affirmation or word of encouragement.
  • Hanging a bird feeder outside the kitchen window so we can watch the birds for a few moments each morning.
A woman with under-eye patches takes a selfie in front of a mirror in a bathroom, holding a yellow phone and wearing a grey t-shirt.

My hope in this new season of life is simple: mornings that feel warm, slow, and full of snuggles with my daughter. I want them to feel grounding and gently structured in a way that actually makes sense for our family and our individual needs. The world already asks so much of us — our time, our attention, our energy. If I can create even a small pocket of peace at the start of the day, that feels like enough. Because a mindful routine should support the life you’re already living, not ask you to overhaul it, right?